Each year, I make a promise to update this space of mine, and without fail, I never do it. But I guess I really have to make an effort now, else I'll never be able to make sense of the burgeoning thoughts in my head. It's been a while since I've translated my thoughts into real words, so I apologise in advance if you actually happen to be reading this clumsy, awkward and disjointed prose. (It's gonna be short though, so that's good.)

You know how some thoughts should never be revisited? Because one thing will just lead to another, and now the ills of that Pandora's box of my mind have gripped me, rendering me unable to focus on anything productive. 

Cómo estás?

Conversations, memories, in dribs and drabs. Yeah those were nice. Replaying scenarios, exploring possibilities. 

If, maybe, could, would. But if, maybe, could, would? Permutations galore.

This is why I'm afraid to even think. Because it makes me feel terrible. But it's a nagging sentiment that grows each time I ignore it. Even now, I don't even know if I am being completely honest because I'm afraid. 

Many things happen along the way. Choices, decisions, (lack of) considerations. 

Maybe I'm just too affected by life. Maybe I'm the only one who actually found it valuable. Maybe it was something you could easily discard. Maybe, deep down, you hate my guts. Maybe I'm the only one still bothering or caring. What's really happening? Who knows? All you see of me are carefully curated squares/superficial moments. I don't know your inner thoughts, and vice-versa.

The air hangs heavy. 

Still, I sincerely wish you well. And, if, somehow, did... 미안해, friends.

Mixed feelings at the moment, but I guess I'll return to my happy persona in no time, and update my exchange travels.